One Less Lonely Guy

To be honest,I wasn't easy socialize to a person,I may seem as a friendly person in the net but not at the reality.I'm shy.Shy to friend with someone.I don't think that I've much friends and could counted easily by fingers.To name a few,my best buddy-girl Khanchna,ex-friend Kate,my crush,stranger-but-friendly-in net Nicky and so on that I cant really offered to be named.

Aside hard-to-socialize me,I'm also a very strong silent type but also a talkative when it comes to some interest subject.Almost all the time I'll feel kinky if I couldn't start a simple conversation,as if I was lack in communication,unless we're talking about Q & A.Well,if you found me talk pretty well in the net,try find it out and figure it soon enough when face to face.I just scared of talking because I don't have a good sense of humor or to tell jokes to cherish someone or get someone to laugh at my jokes.I afraid I'll tell the "Third Jokes" and ruin everything.

 As if you could tell what I'm thinking!

Like 2 weeks ago when a net friend invited me to met his new friend and my heart was quick beating because he invited me and of course I wanna join them,but at the same time I felt nervous.I not sure should I join them or not.I'd said that if I can get permission(totally bullshit) but at the end,on that day the meeting,I make excuse that I had to attend my brother's friend' wedding.But the truth is,I never follow him but the wedding is true,instead I stuck in my house with PS2.I felt guilty after that I lied to someone who sincerely invite me and I'd apologize to him soon later by telling the truth.

I really hate my weakened guts,I hate that I don't have bravery.And I promise myself in order to build my confidence and guts,I'll meet him someday.