Bearer of True Runes

The "Ordinary" Spells

2011-08-17T01:42:00.001+08:00

While I play games on my mobile,the non-touchscreen phone,I came across a list of spells that will be unlocked after achieve the games' request,or completing the trophy.Either it's true or not,but some worth trying.

Snow Day Spell

The night before the day you want snow,light a black candle.Clear your mind and recite this three times:"Goddess Hecate,I call upon thee!Make tomorrow a snow day,so mote it be."

Halloween Love Spell

On Halloween night,go out to a spring with a lamp.Look into the spring.You will see the reflection of your future partner.

Luck Spell

On a night of full moon,recite these words:"Lady of luck come out of your hidden course,bless your light upon me as the light of the moon shines above and in the light of luck will I be blessed,when the moon is next to be full.

Energy Spell

During nights of full moon,fill a glass with drinking water and leave it at the windowsill (outside if possible).In the morning,before eating,drink the water and feel the moon's energy flowing inside you.

Bath Healing Spell
Run a hot bath,adding powdered ginger and eucalyptus oil.Light blue candles,place them near the bathtub and turn out the lights.Enter the bathtub and relax in the bath water.

Find Job Spell

If you want to have a little magic to help you on job interview,make a herbal charm.Mix a bit of sage,lavender,dill,basil,and parsley and pour it on a green cloth.Add in a chip of tiger's eye,and tie the cloth into a pouch using a gold ribbon.This charm will bring you prosperity ans radiate wisdom and knowledge.

New Year Fortune Spell

At midnight of New Year's Eve you should take on your hand a wad of money while you listen the 12 rings of the bell guarantee that you'll have a lot of money on the New Year.

New Year Luck Spell

On the 31st of December,get a piece of paper and write all the bad things that happened in the year that is ending.Burn the paper to avoid bad luck in the New Year.

Happy New Year Spell

When you decorate your table for the New Year's Eve dinner you must use the best tablecloth,dishes,glasses and cutlery that you have.Adorn the table with two red candles to guarantee a true love for your family and something golden to achieve a lot of money in the New Year.

Sweet Dream Spell

Before you go to sleep,put some rosemary and lavender leaves under your pillow and say:"Sweet dreams I will have,free of nightmare I will be".

Does sour patch works instead of candle?

Insomia Spell

Soak your pillow lightly with lavender essence,write your name in a sky-blue candle and light it.Drink a cup of Valerian infusion and...Sweet dreams!

Study Spell

Carve your name into yellow candle and anoint it with lavender oil.Light an incense then the candle and say:"Oh,Spirit of Wisdom,to you I pray that,throughout my studies,my mind will not stray.Keep it receptive,open and clear for me.As is my will,so it shall be!"

Achieve Money Spell

Fill a dark recipient half-full of water and drop a silver coin into it.Position the recipient so that the light of the moon shines into the water.Gently sweep your hands just above the surface,symbolically gathering the Moon's silver and say three times this:"Lovely Lady of the Moon,bring to me your wealth right soon.Fill my hands with silver and gold.All you give,my hands can hold".When finished,pour the water upon the Earth.

Economy Difficulty Spell

Light a yellow candle with 3 matches,put a white quartz in front of the candle and scatter eucalyptus and laurel powder on the quartz.Take a yellow rose in your hand and say:"I wish to be in harmony and overcome this current trance to walk free tomorrow".This quartz will be your lucky charm.

Confidence & Success Spell

If you want to build up your confidence,try this.Mix lavender and lemon juice,use it to wash your hair and let it air dry.You will have a boost in confidence,and are likely to have success in your doings.

Sunshine Spell

Light an orange candle,rub suntan lotion onto your hands and toss a carnelian or red jasper crystal from hand to hand seven times as you say:"Goddess Sun bless and decree that the sun shall shine on me".

St.Valentine Love Spell

get a thorn from a white rose bush and write "Oh my love come to me" three times on a simple white candle.Spread your and your lover's favorite things in a table.In the center,light the candle,and when it has burned out completely,collect the wax and wrap it together with your love souvenir and keep it in a safe place.

Nightmares Spell

Lay three red leaves in triangle on a flat surface and drip some drops of chrysanthemum oil on each leaf.In the center,place a lit candle.Chant this three times:"Red leaves,gift from earth,birth to death and death to birth,keep all evil far away,day to night and night to day".Put out the candle and wrap the leaves in a white cloth or pouch.Place this near your bed within three feet of your head and it will end all nightmares.

Cleansing Spell

You need 3 candles:one white,one black and one green.Light the white candle and say:"Mother Earth,Fire,Wind,Water and Spirit,I ask thee to cleanse my body from all negative forces".Light the black candle and say the same thing.After this,light the green candle and say:"Mother Earth,Fire,Wind,Water and Spirit,I ask thee to cleanse my body from all negative forces.Blessed be!"

Prosperity Spell

Place Irish Moss under a mat outside your front door,and you will always have prosperity coming in.

Health Protection Spell

Take a red ribbon and make a bracelet with seven knots while you think about good things.Try to wear it as often as you can.

Find Love Spell

On a piece of paper,write down the qualities of the person that you'd like to have come into your life.At a table,light a red and white candle in each side to one fireproof container.Try to imagine this person and light the piece of paper from both candles and say this:"I ask the Gods to send to me this person I desire,I may not yet know their face or name,still I know they're out there,and they're looking for me just the same".Drop the burning paper into the container,being careful not to burn yourself.

Tea Divination Spell

Make a cup of tea without milk.Say:"Goddess of Moon,God of Sun,lend some power so I may see the future".Look into the cup and try to look past the drink and see shapes of the future.

Wishing Spell

Hold a lucky charm.light a candle and while thinking of your wish,chant three times:"This simple wish is mine to cast,a magic spell to make it last,I close my eyes a little shiver,this wish for me now please deliver".When you have finished drop the luck charm and blow the candle out.

I'll need the wishing spell to have him!

Heartbreak Spell

Write the name of the person who you want to forget on a piece of paper.Place a red candle,and two white candles one left and the other right from the red one.Light the red candle,left white,then right white candle while you are chanting these words:"I burn this name so it shall be cast out of my memory.(Name of person),your name is as cold as ice;to get over you would be nice".

Family Harmony Spell

Put three red flowers in a crystal vase along with their stems and place the vase on the left corner of a table.Every day,spend some time next to the vase,looking at it and asking for harmony in your family.When the flowers wilt,throw them in running water.

Summer Solstice Spell

On June 23rd at midnight,light a sky-blue candle.Write a wish on a piece of paper and place it under your pillow,together with an ivy leaf.The next day,burn the paper and bury the ashes and ivy leaf in the garden or in a flower pot.

Silent Is Cute

2011-07-15T04:48:00.000+08:00

Meet Davey Wavey,

on his National Day of Silence.

Enjoy the next 10 minutes of watching him quietly.

I Am Who I Am

2011-07-06T01:11:00.001+08:00

Is the reason you ask me to change,

So that you stay the same?

Well I'm sorry if I keep disappointing you again and again

But,

I am who I am
And you can't change me
I've done what I can
And I'll stand my ground
You're tying my hands
You rearrange me
It all falls down

♥ Lee Ryan ♥

Gay Magazine & Kylie Minogue

2011-04-13T12:42:00.000+08:00

After work I went to MHS having a walk-xercise.Every time I go there I must go to Sungei Wang Plaza to check out my fave magazine-the gay-related magazine,where I first found my first gay magazine-Gay Times.

Checking out there don't have any,I proceed to Times Square where I know a shop lot sell foreign magazine.I spotted a Attitude Magazine.Since I left my bag in my locker at my workplace,I just know its not the right time to hold the magazine wandering around the crowded.Shouldn't show I holding a semi-naked man on mall and street.And I bought it 2 days later.Another collection.

Until late evening before 8,I went to Lot 10.Hanging around the YES Internet Mobile Network,I catch a glimpse at a laptop which a guy watching a music video.I saw a scene where there's a man-on-man kissing,immediately I catch the title of that music video.

It's His 21st Birthday

2010-12-06T01:43:00.001+08:00

The title said it all.Yes,it's his 21st birthday on Sunday,December 5th 2010,which mean yesterday.He is Haire,the dude that I first secretly felt in love when I was gred 8 aka form 2.The first dude I had a feeling toward.The first dude I had a crush on.The first dude that make me wonder if it's normal to have a man-to-man feeling.And now,I'm gay because of him.

Come on man,it's your birthday!

If it's now December 6th 2010,which is already passed 12 o'clock,well it's wasn't yet.I just knew that he wasn't in Malaysia,he flew to United Kingdom,to a place called Cardiff.And now,it 1800hour,December 5th 2010 there.

A few days ago I knew his birthday coming soon,and I had to make something special than a birthday wish on his Facebook wall.And guess what,working at a cake house,I had a White Christmas Yule Log,which made from vanilla sponge with Chantilly cream.Added with some Christmas mini toys,and most important thing I won't missed out-the 21st birthday wishes.

It's a lovely cake I make for him

Make Out With You

2010-06-18T10:46:00.001+08:00

I was checking my abandoned sent-message in facebook inbox,then I saw this song which I wrote 2 years ago and now looking at this self-written song,it pretty good writes.

If you want to make out,I'd make out with you
If you say that I'm queer,I would agree with you
If you think that I'm gay when I kissed a guy,well you'd be right

Since I saw that young man,I never was a straight man
I never had a girlfriend that wanted me,yeah
Ever since I blew you,I never even knew you

I only wanna get you right here in my pants

'Cause everybody,woah-oh-oh

Need a guy that they can touch

And you're somebody,whoa-oa-oa
That I fondled just in time

If you want to make out,I'd make out with you
If you say that I'm queer,I would agree with you
If you think that I'm gay when I kissed a guy,well you'd be right

If you want to make out,I'd make out with you

My orientation changing
Its always rearranging
Its always gayer than I thought it ever would
Ever since you kissed me,you always wanna this me
I just wanna get down on my knee and blew

'Cause everybody,woah-oh-oh
If you want to make out,I'd make out with you
If you say that I'm queer,I would agree with you
If you think that I'm gay when I kissed a guy,well you'd be right

Don't tell me even that you're bi
Just tell me that you're gay
And gay with me all night

If you want to make out,I'd make out with you
If you say that I'm queer,I would agree with you
If you think that I'm gay when I kissed a guy,well you'd be right

If you want to make out,I'd make out with you
If you say that I'm queer,I would agree with you
If you think that I'm gay when I kissed a guy,well you'd be right.

When Your Gone

2010-05-12T10:56:00.002+08:00

December 31st 2006.That the date I met "him" 3 years ago.He saw me 3 years ago.Destiny brought us together 3 years ago.Instantly,we became an item and inseparable.It was all happened in a very busy shopping mall with my friend looking for a thing and suddenly I spotted him.After this-and-that introduction,we started as a friend.I was so thrilled to have him,he may not my first but he's gorgeous among all I had before,and of course,I'm not his first.

He was good looking;I was below the scale.He doesn't mind.We're faithful to each other.His secret's mine and my secret's his,we never betray each other.aside that,he is multi-talented gifted-he can sing and compose,he can draw very well and not to mention,he great in acting.

I love him so much that I can't keep myself far away from him.He is everything to me.Rain or shine,or even wee hours of the morning,he will be my side,to comfort me;when I'm in moody,he will listen to my problem;when I in happiness,he will be there to share the joy.I was so lucky one to have him.

We have something in common-magazine lover.

But last Friday,3-year-4-month later,an unfortunate happened to me,he is no more longer with me.I tried to trace every footstep but I couldn't find any single.I was sleeping with him the night before and suddenly,he just poof and disappear.

Well,this is not about boyfriend stuff,"He" is my ex-cellphone-SE K750i.

I lost the phone because I didn't realize that my pant's pocket got a hole and it just dropped somewhere.An hour later then I realize my phone wasn't with me and I traced back my way.No suck luck that people won't noticed a cellphone on the ground.I won't mind if the phone gone but together with my memory card!From Blue to Lady Gaga,vanish away from me.

Is Bankai For Bleach?

2010-04-23T07:35:00.004+08:00

If you watch or read or at least heard Bleach-the anime and the manga,which is popular nowdays,then you might know what is "Bankai",or if you don't,then here's the explanation-A zanpakutou's final form which means "Full Release". It usually takes many years to master it. A Bankai can be ten times more powerful than the first release, "Shi-Kai".

Don't cha mest with my Heaven Chain Slaying Moon(Tensa Zangetsu)

*At least the cosplayer is a little quite good looking.

But if you think that only the meaning and could be found in Bleach,you're wrong and so am I before I found another meaning of Bankai.Well,it do sound a little dirty,in sexual way:

1)Somebody's penis-My bankai is growing in size.

2)It can also be describe as an erection-Man... I have a bankai.

3)Can tell when people are ejaculating-I'm about to bankai!

4)Premature ejaculation,after previously ejaculating-If you don't get off my shit I'm gonna bankai!

But I didn't use Bankai for those 4 example,I use for Bleach game only.

Long Searching Comes True

2010-04-19T02:14:00.000+08:00

It's been about half-a-year since I last went to KLCC's Kinokuniya,and same goes to Mid Valley's Popular and The Gardens' Borders.Kinokuniya is one of the bookstore(biggest in town) where I can(sometime) search for some gay-related reads.

Last wednesday after half-a-year,I once again stepped into Kinokuniya,hoping to assisted by the search machine to find some of the books I saw at Amazon.But bookstore isn't everything what I wanted especially the books which gay-related,but trust me,there's some at romance,teens,gender and fiction shelf.If roll down to the left under The Book I Read,all the books were found there except Alex Sanchez's Rainbow Road and Reichen Lehmkuhl's Here's What We'll Say which from The Gardens' Borders.

Reichen and his ex,Lance and they're so cute!

While having some browsing there,I came across to music section.I kept my eyes set on biographies,at B marked sign on the shelf.For what?Because I been long searching for Lance Bass's Out Of Sync.Within a second my eyeballs targeted the book I been long searching for,and it was sealed.Nevermind I'll ask the counter staff help me.But before that,I took a browsing at teens section.While looking the shelf,I saw a book which I been long searching too-Alex Sanchez's Rainbow High.

Later on,I went to MHS and I passed a bookshop,and I straightly proceed to the elevator to upper floor.A second I stepped on the elevator I saw a familiar magazine.To ensure what I saw,I ran down the stairs and find the magazine.To my surprise and unbelievable,my eyes didn't prove me wrong,it's the Gay Times,the new issue,which I had it before.I gagged and drop the fuck bombs under my breathe.After pay £3.75(pound sterling=RM18.57 and I had it only RM15.90),I was trilled to have the second copy of Gay Times.It's was December issue 375 and the one I last bought was July issue 370.Could say that Gay Times were really rare to get here in Malaysia.Ahhh wish I could get Gay Times every issue,I definitely will collect it even it cost more bucks.

Meet the second of mine.

The Bearer of 27 True Runes

2010-04-12T08:09:00.003+08:00

Well,I saw some bloggers wrote down their facts and it seem interesting.They tell their 23 facts and I don't understand why 23?But here a little different,I use 27 True Runes replace the 23 facts.
1)The bearer have Arachnophobia-irrational fear of spiders but loves watching spider documentary.
2)The bearer allergy to prawns and crabs flesh but fine with tiny dried prawn?
3)The bearer is a strong silent type of person,guess he is shy or whatever.
4)The bearer is a fanatic of Suikoden games series,hence come this blog's title.
5)The bearer know how to swim at age 4 in 6 feet pool.
6)The bearer is a very loyal reader to Galaxie magazine and Hitz.fm loyal listener.
7)The bearer was elementary chinese educated but english spoken.Westernize.
8)The bearer have a bunch of comic collections,start with Doraemon,Dragon Ball,Hajime Kindaichi,and other with incomplete set.His all time favorite comic is Dragon Quest.
9)The bearer found he was attracted to his childhood guy friend and thought he was bisexual for 4 years and finally declare himself a fully homosexual 2 years ago.
10)The bearer doesn't chew food more than 3 times in large quantities.He just swallow it and always hungry for food-swallowing.

I could finish the whole jar.

11)The bearer is a TV addict,mostly everyday have his favorite shows on local channel-drama,sci-fi,action or anything based on english TV.
12)The bearer never smoke,and the the only alcohol drink he ever (so far) consume were shandy.
13)The bearer always fully clothed,and brief on when sleeping(rarely).
14)The bearer have a chinese name and since no one call me that name anymore,after done my elementary,they just address me Bradley,simple.
15)The bearer never done any gay action yet,haven't kiss,hold hands,or talk to a gay guy.A completely untouched guy.
16)The last chinese song he listened was SHE 7 years ago.
17)The bearer is a hobosexual,he doesn't care his appearance and has no sense of fashion or style.
18)The bearer will use his pseudonyms he don't want to reveal himself.One of his was Freyjadour Falenas but has been founded by someone.
19)The bearer loves reading after picked Reichen Lehmkuhl's Here's What We'll Say,especially the one with bromance.
20)The bearer heritagely from Eurasian but he did look like Siamese as he been told.

Bin ich asiatischen oder eurasischen?

Am I asian or eurasian?

21)The only 2 singer he admire and loves most is Jesse McCartney and Lady Gaga.
22)The only gay stuff he owned is his UK's GayTimes issue 370.Very precious.
23)The bearer can spend entire half day in a mall without shopping.
24)The bearer use simple english due to his poor spellings and his slow-words-arrangement.
25)The bearer doesn't inherit his father's hunky-playboy-looks nor his mother beauty.
26)The bearer couldn't stand if he sees someone local who's taller than his 6 feet,exception to the whites.
27)The bearer started using internet 2 years ago.Before he doesn't know how to.

A Little Scribble

2010-03-30T08:21:00.003+08:00

A male-on-male hug I needed!

Crush,

What is that?
Were it the same as love or
Two different things?
Were I in crush or
I've been secretly loving him
For the pass 8 years?

For him,

I support MU even though

I'm "stool legged".

For him,

I wish one day

I'll be driving BMW.

I always have him in my mind

No matter how many hawties

I'm been looking at.

I wanted to see him everyday,

Even there's no talking between us.

If I can't,a picture of him will do.

That will enoughly satisfied me.

Someone please help me to tell me,

Is this crushing or loving a person?

But I'll tell myself that I liking him,

That he is my first crush that make me

Into a person that I comfort with.

Even we couldn't be together,a friendly hug will do.

Actually I already knew,

I already understand that

We're from two different lifestyle.

A boy who love a boy who love girls.

A tilted who love straight.

Even though,

I keep myself strong,

I keep my feet stand still.

When I came out to you and

You don't mind having a gay friend.

I was happy with the acceptment but

I was afraid to confess my feeling.

Afraid that will destroy our friendship,

Even friend we couldn't be.

Even though I can't make a confession,

But I will continue secretly loving you,

until a person could replace you.

Till that moment,

I'll keep this feeling treasured,

Till forever.

Just in case you don't already know,Bad Romance is about in love to a best friend.

Dude Dude Dude

2010-03-22T09:09:00.001+08:00

It was at night and I was at somewhere there's everyday activities were going on until late midnight.I was at busy night city at one of my favorite place-Mount Hill of Stars(MHS).Play enough games,read much magazines,viewed many eye candies and walked uncountable steps between mall to malls.

Before the clock struck on 12,before the day end,I bit farewell to MHS and proceed to the rows of clubs and pubs.While my little walk to there,I came across a very dashing,good looking white dude were walking to MHS.Alone he was.He's very handsome that my eyes balls kept looking at him with my face facing straight the street.

A few feet behind him was another dude probably from the Middle Eastern.A young-good-looking-daddy looks,clean shaven with after shaved perma-scruff.Like the white dude in front of him,he was alone too.Could he have stalking the dude?

There's an easier way for walking,err rolling

Thought the 2 dudes satisfied me enough,but whats make the third person?Again,few feet behind both of them appeared another dude,an asian,probably local chinese dude.Also a handsomely enough with the hairstyle of Taylor Lautner,minus the height which shorter some inches.Well,guess what,he was alone too,following the dudes infront .While passing the chinese dude,I couldn't take anymore than I could,I yelped a little hard voice along the breath I breathed,dropping the F word.When I turned my head back,I noticed the chinese dude were looking at me,probably thinking that I was mumbling alone.

3 hawt dudes,1 place,1 moment.Were it just coincident?I think it's just enough for my eye candies views.1 world dude.

One Less Lonely Guy

2010-03-08T09:16:00.003+08:00

To be honest,I wasn't easy socialize to a person,I may seem as a friendly person in the net but not at the reality.I'm shy.Shy to friend with someone.I don't think that I've much friends and could counted easily by fingers.To name a few,my best buddy-girl Khanchna,ex-friend Kate,my crush,stranger-but-friendly-in net Nicky and so on that I cant really offered to be named.

Aside hard-to-socialize me,I'm also a very strong silent type but also a talkative when it comes to some interest subject.Almost all the time I'll feel kinky if I couldn't start a simple conversation,as if I was lack in communication,unless we're talking about Q & A.Well,if you found me talk pretty well in the net,try find it out and figure it soon enough when face to face.I just scared of talking because I don't have a good sense of humor or to tell jokes to cherish someone or get someone to laugh at my jokes.I afraid I'll tell the "Third Jokes" and ruin everything.

As if you could tell what I'm thinking!

Like 2 weeks ago when a net friend invited me to met his new friend and my heart was quick beating because he invited me and of course I wanna join them,but at the same time I felt nervous.I not sure should I join them or not.I'd said that if I can get permission(totally bullshit) but at the end,on that day the meeting,I make excuse that I had to attend my brother's friend' wedding.But the truth is,I never follow him but the wedding is true,instead I stuck in my house with PS2.I felt guilty after that I lied to someone who sincerely invite me and I'd apologize to him soon later by telling the truth.

I really hate my weakened guts,I hate that I don't have bravery.And I promise myself in order to build my confidence and guts,I'll meet him someday.

What Happen In Meadow

2010-01-18T10:17:00.002+08:00

I see myself,the other me,or probably myself,in a event.It's was teacher's day,from my hunch.I was one of two contestant who took part in water competition.I look around and I catch two guys sitting on a really tall chair like the badminton judge.One of them is Jin from Hitz.fm,and the other is a really good-looking-cum-handsome-studly dude.Now I know,the event is to choose The Hottest Teacher of the year.Then I saw another person who will compete with me,he look so familiar,the face,and soon I realize that was Haire the dude,with topless bare chest.I was so thrill so see him.Wipe your drool,Bradley!

Somehow I know what we gonna do to.We both need to dive in a really quite deep pool,about 20 feet and at the bottom has 3 alike rat trap cages.1 of it were filled with sinkable balls and 2 empty cages,which represent the 2 teachers.So I and Haire need to compete each other to dive in and insert the ball one at the time,the fastest into the cage of our choice.

I take Kyle and you take Jin,OK?

Fast forwardly,I insert the fourth ball into the studly-stranger dude's cage.Ok lets name him Kyle.One thing I missed was everytime I dive in,I never took a glance over Haire's bare top nor Kyle's or Jin's.With the fifth dive,I see myself slower than Haire,he is in front of me a few inches.Since I have all four balls in Kyle's,why not have him insert into his choice?Then suddenly I saw he insert the ball into Kyle's,not Jin's!Did he just did that?He look at me,smiling,and I don't know what's on his mind!I thought we should compete for the vote,not gather the vote.

To celebrate Kyle's winning of his hawt,all of us three-me,Haire and Kyle.We went to a strange place,a very widely green field,endlessly green field with the countless of sparkling starry night.We sing,we enjoy,we did all guy stuff(not including sex,mind you).With 2 hawt guys and starry night,what could I asked for more!

I think we lost!Helps?

The next morning after the one-in-a-lifetime-night,I know,that something had happened to me,to Kyle,something I was after Kyle--I already had sex with him!!!(thumbs up dude) With my greatest excitement to have sex with him and the deepest disappointment,I unable to catch the sex scene,not a single scene,what I know was we're done sexing!Heck!Haire?How I know where have he been?

Like something has skipped,I was in a car,probably it's time to go back.I was sitting beside to the driver,Phat Pabes of Fly.fm.(BTW I'm a loyal to hitz.fm,then why is Fly were here?)Haire and Kyle were at the back seat,chatting.Hey Haire,wanna swap seat?Suddenly appeared of 2 beautiful young hot chick(spot the different between hot and hawt?),we continue our journey.I looked at the rear side mirror,the reflection from the back showed me something horrible,Kyle was kissing.Not to Haire but a girl.Couldn't see anymore of this straight-romantic kissing,my tear flow down to my cheek.I was heart beaten.

With the sound from the TV my brother playing game,I wake up.I feel the sex-excitement and sadness of betrayal,in my dream.Wish I can find Kyle.

Ready For Meeting

2010-01-11T08:43:00.001+08:00

I wake up at 6:30 am and drag my fatigue body to get a quick shower (read:buffalo bath).Arrggghhhh...the water from the shower is so damn cold,dropping from it and hit my body like ice meteor hit earth,I could freeze myself.After wipe with a towel,I grab my blue buttoned with dark blue pant,and brief too if you gonna ask me.With a T-shirt as undershirt,I put on my tie,pin my golden (fake) name tag with the name "BRADLEY" and a logo on my shirt pocket.Buckle my black shoe,a bag on my shoulder and a blazer on my left arm like a businessman as a finishing touché and voilà,I'm ready to stomp out from my house,leaving my PS2 on it death-sleeping mode,my brother will up later and Lawrence,probably he will wake at the noon.

My destination is just across the street I live and some of my colleagues stay there too (it's condos).Take about couple of minutes to reach there.Checking if Haire on his way,not even his shadow I could detect.If only I know when exactly he leave his place.With bunch of different level colleagues,we gather at a spot in the building compound.With Haire as our leader,always begin with "first thing first" while tapping his index finger to another,5 days a week meeting start.

My blazer please,and please send me too.Please.

I look at my crush (you know who),looking straight to him,analyze him how dashing he is even though he wear the same outfit as us.His handsome face fasten my heart beat rate,like seeing Jesse McCartney;his fit body is waiting me to throw myself to hug him,to inhale his freshened body;his lip is begging me to have a passionate kiss on the spot;my eyes scroll down to his men-man area,wondering if I can see his buldge on his pant,as been told by my best friend Nicholas (not you,Nicky) also a close friend to him,he always had "woody" (man,damn horny he is).If only I has superman's look through power!As the meeting over,I go to my duty place and wish he could come and check on our duty.

That was 4 years ago when I were form 5 student-prefect.Seeing those freshly-holiday-graduated student make me miss my school year.If only 17 Again is happen to me,with the time and space travel back too,with the now me replace the 2006 me.

Aye,the school new term are just started a week ago.

10 Resolution on 10

2010-01-06T09:46:00.002+08:00

Year 2009 has passed and here come 2010!Happy New Year 2010 folks!Last year has been much happening to me,yeah,good and the bad.Last year May,I came out to Haire;I started blogging;told my dad that I'm gay but later told him that it's was just joking,really fuck that;and others that I didn't mentioned on this blog.

First of all,I'll need a place to nap!

2009 has passed,what happened done;2010 new era,what's going happen we don't know.Unless we can predict the future?

This year I'm gonna change myself.From top to bottom.From left to right.From mentally to physically.

I'm gonna lose more weight until I hit the ideal weight with the height gain too.(currently 6 feet)

I'm gonna hit my first gay club,a decent one if could,after my 21st birthday and that time I'll need someone to accompany me there.Any volunteer?Nicky?

I not sure if I'd good looking with glasses or without?What if I get myself a contact lense?

Laptop is gonna be mine before the end of the year.

In 3 months,cellphone,cellphone and cellphone.Man I'm gonna take a lot of my favorite celebs pictures.

I miss my primary school gathering,Annalicia Loke Soke Kwan,where are thou?Hanes Lim,I wanna meet you and those after standard 6 we separated to other secondary school.

A day after Christmas I couldn't went to the my secondary school gathering which organized by one of my friend,and he didn't showed up due to his relative emergency.And those abs and muscles of Haire's,I wanna feel and see if that true.

It's payback time.Information strictly secret.

I did told him I'm gay but haven't told him why.And I want to tell him who'd caused me into this?

I once completed Suikoden 5 and I played it again.And I wanna replay it again.it's the best among the rest of Suikoden.

12 Gifts In 12 days of Christmas

2009-12-25T15:42:00.004+08:00

On the first day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Laptop
I'm a computer blind and I don't know what kind do suit me.As long it installed with all those freaking stuffs,anti-virus and ready to use.

On the second day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Jack Hart's books
My First Time: Gay Men Describe Their First Same-sex Experience volume 1-5
Heat: Gay Men Tell Their Real-life Sex Stories
Straight?: True Stories of Unlikely Sexual Encounters between Men
Twink: True Stories in Celebration of Younger Men
The Day We Met: The Very First Day of Long-Term Relationships
My Biggest O: Gay Men Describe 'The Best Sex I Ever Had'
Treasure Trail: Erotic Tales of Pirates on the High Seas
Gay Sex: A Manual for Men Who Love Men

On the third day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Penshoppe Accessories
My friend Lawrence from Phillipine came here and I caught this very cool and stylist wallet.Only available at Phillipine.I had his before he returned as he has a lot in his house(he said it).And a deodorant or some sort of body spray,also belong to him but unfortunately it finish before I can spray on me,and he used it a lot.It has very strong smell that even after wash the smell stays on the clothes.

Need a bigger sock!

On the fourth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Lance Bass's Out Of Sync
I read Reichen Lehmkuhl before a few times and I couldn't find his ex-boyfriend's.

On the fifth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Dragon Quest Dai no Daiboken vol.37 (The Great Adventure of Dai)
For 8 years I been waiting that comic volume 35,36 and 37.I bought volume 35 and 36(last 2 years ago) but 37 was out of stock.I know where volume 37 sold at but at Sunway Pyramid.But recently,thanks to One Manga and also to Nicholas aka Nicky,I read the last volume.But I still want the whole set.And volume 6 too which I lost it somewhere.

On the sixth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Alex Sanchez's Rainbow High
OK,for the fucking fourth time I re-read the first-Rainbow Boys and the third and last-Rainbow Road,I haven't read the second book-Rainbow High.Someone get me that book!

On the seventh day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Lady GaGa's The Fame + The Fame Monster + Unofficial track
Check this out the unofficial track at Lady GaGa

Bet and lose my Santa suit!

On the eighth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Cellphone
I been using my SE K750i for the last three years as my graduation gift,and the third year fall at new year's eve.Not fancy those touchphone,iPhone or Blackberry,just get me either Nokia 5730 Xpress Music or SE C901 or SE T707 which with WiFi and YouTube.

On the ninth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Kyle XY Season 1-3(DVD)
Matt Dallas aka Kyle is one hottie guy that I'll drool over.With the innocent and naked body on pilot,I love him!

On the tenth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Dante's Cove(DVD)
Oh come on Reichen Lehmkuhl!Nice shower you had there.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
My First Gay Friend
I been gay for 8 years but I still don't have a single of gay friend.Anyone volunteer?

On the twelfth day of Christmas,Santa please sent to me:
Boyfriend
Actually it was not on the list but I want it badly!I don't want a person called himself a boyfriend appear in front of me.I want to know him,to have fun with him until he is everything,then ask him to be my boyfriend.I wanna hold hands,cuddle and all those couple stuff.

OK!Done my Christmas list!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL I KNOW!!!HAVE A BLAST YEAR!!!

The Magazine Journey

2009-12-16T09:54:00.001+08:00

Being the gay guy in gonna be 8 years with the first 3 years of bi-curious,but how you know that you're 100% gay?To me,first you must have gay friends,then gay movies,gay musics,gay novel,gay magazines(porn and non-porn),erotic gay stories,gay porn and last,gay sex.

But I didn't achieve the first step-gay friend.

I need someone like you!

I live in a world of "straight-want-opposite-gender",men loves women and women loves men.I didn't follow the gay step,instead I started with my first view of gay porn(before this was straight porn) last year May.Then I get myself gay novels and read some erotic gay stories online,and 16 erotic gay short stories in a book-Taboo by Sean Wolfe.

Right now,I achieving my fourth step-my very first gay magazine.I know some of gay magazines like Attitude,Instinct(thanks to Janice Dickinson),GayTimes,XY,Honcho(thanks to Nelson Glassman of Alex Sanchez's Rainbow Boys),DNA and OUT magazine.

While I was at this bookstore,an open bookstore in Sungei Wang Plaza where usually I went,2 days ago,I was at men health magazines where I don‘t always at that section.With my eyes browsing at those men health magazines,I caught this magazine with boy with brief,as I look at the magazine title,I just couldn't believe my own eyes,it's was GayTimes(GT).I mean,you just cant get any gay magazine at any book seller shop,and here is Malaysia."I must get this one" I said to myself.I noticed only left two and I quickly grabbed one.Now,GayTimes is mine.With excitement,I quickly browsed the magazine in an instant,in no time.Hmm...nice.Hmm...cute guys.Hmm...fuck,I got a buldge in my pant.I rolled the magazine to avoid people's eyes-to-look-what-you-holding.If wasn't the boy with brief cover,I'll just carry the magazine,show off.

This is the one I bought!

Carry the magazine and owned it,I just cant wait to read it.I had a big smile with huge grin on my face,I just can't resisted the excitement.It just like having a date and gonna meet him.I want to kiss the magazine.I want to have sex with the magazine.

I found myself a quiet spot at Times Square,I scanned the cover.The date was July,which is 5 month ago;price was at £3.75 equal to RM20.75.Fuck RM20 just for a gay magazine?But who's care,its my first gay magazine.I kissed the male model cover,Austin Bloom(the name which I found out later) and started my journey to it.

Journey will be next!

The Lost Last page

2009-12-14T09:26:00.001+08:00

Watcha need in girls magazines?A girl fashion models and some hot guys candy.And vice versa to men magazines.

The last girl magazine or women magazine I read was CLEO,few month ago.Of course,for a quite few pages of all women drooled over that issue-the 50 Hottest Bachelors.I've been reading that issue,well,by browsing it and there's a lot of guys I liked,and only two names I could remember,Jin from hitz.fm and of course,Mr Henry Golding.And how I love Henry's dancing for that event.What a contemporaneous with "I-want-you!" screaming.

Yet again,I was in Times Square's Borders for books browsing.As I standing at girls magazine section,I grabbed a bumper issue of FEMALE.First thing,I turned the very last page,where I used to do so whenever I saw that issue few years back then just for a reason.

Wasn't me you fancy?

I remember,somewhere in 2005-2007,I had some copies of FEMALE and to mind you,those are not mine.There's one issue I really love which the last page was my favorite page-the topless till torso of guy candy.In that page there's a guy really caught my eyes,he was so godly handsome that will melt
anyone,and I forgotten his name,his face,everything.And the magazine vanished too!I always fantasize whenever I looked at him,everyday is a must-to-do-list.I just couldn't live without a glance of him everyday.Did I mentioned that I kissed that page of him everyday?

Oh hottie dude,where are thou?

Hugging,My Crush?

2009-11-08T11:34:00.002+08:00

As I clicked his picture album in his profile,something make my bottom jaw drop,I thought I'll view some hanging-with-friends pictures,but this picture make me wanna frame it,but at the same time I doesn't want to,because in that picture wasn't him alone.

He is my 7-years crush,Haire the studly looking dude.That picture showed him hugging with another person from the back,with his both arms lock that person body.A human lock,perhaps?

I won't let my jaws drop if he hugging someone but this picture showed me that he is actually doing it to a dude,his school mate.Hmmm...a dude to another dude,hugging from the back,doesn't it looks so fishy?Just like a gay couple,I'd say.

I think we both loves this.

The Malaysian version of Brokeback Mountain.

To be truth,I am very jealous to his friend.Not a mere jealousness but a strongest jealousy that hit the top of my jealous gauge,more than Henry Golding!How I wish to be hugged by him,to feel the firm of his human lock!Seriously I'll do anything for that.

But I doubt his sexuality,even though he has girlfriends.

Brad:Errr...Haire?
Haire:Yeah?
Brad:So,ummm...that picture,is it...?
Haire:What picture?
Brad:The picture of you,hugging a dude,from the back,so Brokeback Mountain!
Haire:Oh that,was...
Brad:What are you actually?

Could he be bisexual,or experimenting,or gay?(if he was one of those,I hope it was the third).You could answer that question,Haire.

And,I'll keep that picture.My gaydar always sensing him.

The Leather Bikini's Fight

2009-11-03T11:06:00.000+08:00

While I reading some foreign magazines,I found a very interesting picture of Lady GaGa and Madonna fighting in Saturday Night Live(SNL),while dancing!So let the video rolling!

Here's the most funny moment:
Lady GaGa:What's wrong,Madonna?Can't get into the groove?
Madonna:What is the hell is disco stick?!
Lady GaGa:I think you know!
Madonna:What kind of name is Lady GaGa?It sounds like a baby food.

End with foursome...

The Unskilled Comboist Fighter

2009-10-17T16:06:00.002+08:00

Boys will be boys;Men will be men.Boys-Men likes cars,robots,harsh games,wrestle,football,basketball and involving fake wars.Yeah,and hot chicks too,unless you're the type of "I show you mine if you show me yours".And I wasn't sure that I was completely male-ish,I not interest in cars and football,but since my crush,yeah that childhood dude,always talking about BMW and Manchester United,so I did too,if people ask me,it gonna be BMW and MU.I loves watching Transformers,but I don't talk about it.Forgot Optimus Prime and Bumblebee,nothing to describe that metal robots and how it from a car transform into huge robotic robot,nah.

Don't tell me how hot is that chick,the sexyness,smooth legs and so on.I might say "Yeah.Hot" in my voice to your chick-like,but in my mind,how hot are you?

I too,loves fighting games.More of it,a huge fan-player of The King of Fighters' series'.Since I was 10,I always went to family entertainment center to play the game machine,to twist the joystick and press the buttons.And without parents knowledge and never ever they knew about it.I was under 18.I always spend my time there,the game systems,the characters,the combos,the 2-3D,the power-max-power,anything you say,were completely better than Street Fighter.Forget Ryu and Ken,mind me Iori Yagami and Kyo Kusanagi.

My fighting game life,my King of Fighters.

As usual,I always hang around at Sungei Wang Plaza's.There a Dude I been checking him out.He is quite hot,if you see him.That dude wasn't not skilled combo-ist as me(yeah I'm kinda expert but not so expert),but he knew some max power as he played the easiest-perform machine compare to the others,which kinda hard.That game spot is for low ranking person.Sometime I challenged him,sometime I won;sometime I lose,just give chance,pity him.But once we smiled over his clumsy movement on his character,and nothing happen.

Here,try my Champion-Punch-Fist-Knuckle

Brad:Err,to perform that Vanessa's combo-power-max-power...

Dude:Quick,I'm gonna lose!

Brad:Activate the max power gauge,twist from south to west to south to east with Heavy Punch button,that's the Crazy Puncher,and before the final punch or the 11th hit,twist from south to east,so that the attack will stop and paralyse the opponent,then it all yours.You could perform numberous Crazy Puncher after activate the max power gauge everytime a normal power is perform but skip the last punch,if could,perform a 99th hits,then perform the Max Crazy Puncher,the max's command same as normal one but with both light and heavy punch button.Finish!

Dude:What The Fuck of that long babbling?!Look,I'm lose a character!

Brad:Hmm,look like you need my help after all,yeah?OK,free course.

Dude:Deal!

If that conversation is true...

Goodbye Mr Stud

2009-09-15T14:49:00.005+08:00

I could not believe when my brother told me this,that Henry Golding is leaving The 8TV Quickie.I told him no way he is leaving and was told that Henry gonna be on set until that week of Friday(Sep 4)

Seriously dude,you can't be leaving all of us,right?Do you ever thought of our feeling when you announced this unwanted-to-hear news?

I don't know when Henry's first aired on The Quickie,but I do know it's was after the Malay dude Raz.The very first time Henry was on aired,the good-looking-handsome,the hunch that he is mixed parentage and the great-till-you-melt smile had me charmed over him.Since onward that day,I've been catching him from The Quickie.I like to watch Henry and study him,the way he speak,the lips movement,the accent with smooth talking and the cynical smile he always added.

Does my wink make you melt?

Everytime,if I could catch The Quickie,I only hope for Henry and Belinda Chee,they seem to be a great-partner-on-set and couple,if they could.The beautiful sound of Belinda and the dude sound of Henry never ever had failed to make me fagical.Other host will make me groan and mumble,curse 'em

If I could have 3 wishes upon Henry,I would wanted to see him physically,think over him mentally and fantasize him sexually.I want to hold his hand,to hug him as buddy hugs,to able to smell his body deodorant,and of course pictured him naked.

Now that he Henry has abroad to Singapore to start his new career as a host in ESPN's Football Crazy,and I don't think that I'll catch him on football guide or whatsoever because to me,football is *yawn*

So now,until we meet again,on TV set or anywhere you could emceed.And goodbye,Mr Stud.And welcome Mr Next Stud!

Home Prison Ain't Quarantine

2009-09-08T01:59:00.004+08:00

I think I addicted to Internet or watcha-called-it stuff.And it's been a month since I last touched a keyboard and mouse.Not to say that my computer had broken or destroyed,but the truth is I don't have my own!I wish I have my own Kyle.Seriously I'll name all my stuff 'Kyle',taken from Kyle XY,the character that Matt Dallas(below picture) played,the non-bellybutton.Call me silly or childish but this is me,even my character in games,if require a name,then it'll be Kyle.

Look,ma.I can cast fire.

Instead,I was home prison(my term for not able to online or whatever).Sorry to disappoint your or whom worries of the hateful influenza illness AH1N1 but I still healthy even I was attacked by AH1N1 symptoms like high fever,muscle and joint pain,but it gone after a day or two.Thanks God for not make me home quarantine,because it will burden anyone.

So,this dude had kept me all along the month-my new PS2.Not fully mine because most of it my brother paid,that why I couldn't name him Kyle.My old PS2,the big size,were kept in a box with PS1,due to unable to resurrection.

Even I have my new buddy,I still missed the Internet,my blog and them,and those sites I frequently visited.I couldn't live without them beside me.

Excitement overcome me to this PS2,I can play my favorite game-SuikodenV.Sadly it's just can't go through the data when I clicked load game,and I wasn't finished since I last played few months ago in friend's house.So I started with Suikoden III,which has 3D graphic.I played nearly to the end,when I pissed off my brother,he deleted the data.Then I began with Rogue Galaxy.How I wished to play Bleach the fighting game which is borrowed to someone long time ago after my old PS2 in coma.Forget The King of Fighters,which I prefer to have it on joystick like at the family entertainment.

Er,I mean,in games,not the real!

In the moment,I'll be waiting for the information on Suikoden VI.Oh come on,what the new runes?

Just Smile

2009-07-19T10:33:00.007+08:00

I spotted this Malay boy again when I was waiting a public transport.

Again?Actually he is not spotted by me,but I knew he always at there every morning.Helping.Yes,he helping his mother sell nasi lemak at Kl Sentral,beside 7-eleven.The last time I saw him was couple of months ago,maybe more than that?

I analyzed him.Age-about 17-19;Hair-common Malay hairstyle;Face-handsome and good-looking;Body-OK;Wearing t-shirt and jean with sandal.Overall,handsome and good-looking,guapo un masarap.He was sitting on a plastic chair,with his little brother,probably elementary schoolkid,fooling round with his little brother,struggling between them,skin touch and what a close brothers.They make me jealous as they touch each other and I noticed both of them were twins,just age different.

On second though,nasi lemak or me?

Easy to spot them were twins:their face almost the same,just age different and they had a charming-that-could-melt-smile.Yeah,the smile,the gift they had.But Matt Dallas as Kyle in Kyle XY,has the most Oh-My-God-please-melt-me-with-that-smile in first season's pilot.Sorry Malay boy and thank you Matt,for that smile.

I kept locked my eyes on him until the damn bus arrived.Goodbye hottie boy.And I'm so gay!

V Factory

2009-07-09T01:30:00.029+08:00

I grabbed few magazines-People,Us Weekly,Woman's Day,In Touch Weekly,Life & Style Weekly,Star,and OK!magazine when I at Mid Valley's Borders.Quickly find a nice spot but all occupied,so I had to sit on the carpet covered-floor,anyway it's comfortable too.If I could lay down,both legs on the air as teenager girls does,with junkies,wouldn't be nice if they had these facilities.Then I flip page to pages,to catch-up what happened to those celebrities' scene.*Sigh*more news on Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie,Susan Boyle and Peter Andre-Jordan Price

Hmmm...so this and that happened!

Only today I haven't get the latest of Heat magazine.I love Heat because it's is the best of all,especially Heat Torso section,where have a picture of a semi nude hot guy,not normal dude but whatever-celebrity-lists-he-is.

Then don't-know-which-magazines,I found out a band of 5 hot guys and I mean 5 of them*drool*.A band named V Factory.Their music genre are Pop,R&B and Urban.

Hey there everyone!We are V Factory!

The members of V Factory are:

*Jared Makaio Murillo

*August 6, 1988
*Mapleton,Utah
*Known for his appearance as a featured dancer in High School Musical 1 & 2
*Ashley Tisdale's ex-boyfriend

*Asher Monroe Book
*September 18, 1988
*Arlington,Virginia

*Nathaniel Flatt
*September 18, 1981
*Cockeville,Tennessee

*Nick Teti
*Nicknamed Nicky T
*July 23, 1983
*Philadelphia,Pennsylvania

*Wesley Quinn
*January 16, 1990
*Greenville,South Carolina

Those hot 5's first single-Love Struck.Check 'em out!Promise wouldn't let you down!

P/S:This V Factory were same as Menudo.Some common between 2 bands!And I think I'm gonna spend more time looking at those pictures of them.

Summer Hunks

2009-07-05T10:52:00.020+08:00

I love summer!!!

Don't get me wrong and don't get you wrong,I did not like the heat and the laser rays of sun.Instead,beach.Those hot boys or hot dudes with their topless with their whatever-swimming-trunks,swimming at the beach,taking a walk,lying on the beach with suntan oil all over their bodies or struggle with their beach buddies.OK that's only happen at western countries,rather in Malaysia we hardly saw those.

Yahoo!!!It's fun here!Wanna join?

But I'm not going to the beach,KL don't have it own beach and I'm not planning to beaching.

But there's other hunks than those beaching on summer-don't forget the Summer Movies!Yeah that's what I talking about!Meet the sexy men who already or will be steaming up the screen this season!

First we meet the first of all-Freddie Stroma,who will play Cormac McLaggen in Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince.Too Bad Ron took over his place as Gryffindor Quidditch Team's Keeper as Ron scored all but Cormac McLaggen scored four out of five saves.

That Ron,how dare he scored more than me?!

Next we meet Channing Tatum,which already done Fighting and will be releasing another movie-G.I.Joe:The Rise of Cobra,will play as Duke in the movie.

OK!Who's next to struggle with me

Then we all know the hunkie who play in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen.No,no,I'm not talking about Shia Labeouf,who play Sam witwicky,he not hunkie yet,instead it's Josh Duhamel,play Major Lennox.He is a real hunkie!

Where is my Fergie?And take more pictures of me!

Survival (Part 2)-Retreat

2009-06-23T01:24:00.010+08:00

I couldn't slept.My eyes are tired but I couldn't slept.My ears kept listening to sounds,a crack,a tickling,anything that tinnily sounded.My eyes kept staring at the door,at the floor,if the light were on.I was waiting for them to realized that their gay son had came back.Suddenly my eyes slept.

ZzzZzzZzzZzzZzz*snort*

I woke again.It was 6 morning.I should get ready to get dressed,get out from the house as soon as possible,maybe I too afraid to confront this to my dad.

In the afternoon,while I was break from my job,suddenly I saw my brother with his friend,I tried to hide myself but nothing could hide me,as we saw each each other.I faced him,with all my guts,trying to deny whatever gay stuff he'll spill out later.But he wasn't,like nothing happened,or maybe because his friend were there,he couldn't tell any.He just tell me to go home as he never saw me that night.I was so relief,maybe my dad haven't told them yet.

"You're gay,right?""For God sake,I'm not!"

But I not going home tonight.I straightly went to the place where I used to spend my entire night life.Not club,mind you,it's Internet cafe.

What happened in the next morning,I couldn't reveal to anyone,which I made a promise to that person.So,skip to when I went home at 11 morning.I went in and saw my mother there.Uh oh OMGWTF!OK,what you wanna say,ya better say it now! But she just asking me where I went,no more than that.After I hand the money to my Aunt Lara to give later to my dad,I went have breakfast with my mum.While we walking,I told her the news about a 14 year old son punched and swore to his mother,because his mother found out that his son had a boyfriend,20 year old.His mother asked him to leave his boyfriend and this gay relationship,but the son wasn't listen,he scold her mother,told her that she wasn't deserved to be a mother to him,which she can't afford whatever things he need,which his boyfriend gave him money to support the family,before laid his hand to his mother.

We went back after breakfast,from the kitchen window before I were in front of the gate,I saw a half naked figure of a man.Who'll it be if wasn't my dad?I quickly open the gate,if I could cast haste spell on me to make me escape from him.And he,like nothing happened last Sunday,and how about the gay word I told him?Nothing,not even a conversation between us,as usual,there's nothing to talk about.

I had my mother in the room,play Lady Gaga's,and told her the incident that happened but I'm never told her that I'm gay,trying everything to denied myself a gay in the room.Then we had a talk about the gay boy news we talking,then celebrities who was gay.We had GAY issues!My mother used to homophobic when it come to gay issue,but after I confront her about gay people,changed her view about gay people,and I succeeded.I could talk about gay stuff whenever I wanted to.

"OK,tell me what you want to talk,Bradley"

Later at night,my brother came back.I also told the incident to him (we often joked about gay stuff,where we always told my mother that he is gay,he told her I'm gay,just joking around),then my brother told me that my dad had told them,when I was not in the house,my brother jokingly told my mother that I'm gay,then my dad told him:"Your brother is GAY!He earned money by letting people fucking him!Don't know how many people had fucked him?!"Then I told him it's was just to pissed off him.

Since that day,whenever I went to Internet and only went home the next morning,

Mum:Spend your day with your boyfriend?
Bradley:Yeah,I miss him,I loved him,I need him,everything about HIM.

Wish I had a boyfriend to say that,and bring him back to introduce him to my parent(when I ready to do so).Well,now I should retreat to my closet again.

I love you,my future boyfriend.

Survival (Part 1)-The Encounter

2009-06-21T13:39:00.007+08:00

After the incident happened last Sunday,I was afraid to go home(on the same day).I knew if I do so I'll face the shrieking sound of musics from my family!Imagine 3 people!I might have no peace if they're such a homophobic person.

"Come on and hit me!" "Oh yeah I'll do that!"

Whenever I think back what had I said to my dad,I'll give myself a little sigh-smile,monologue myself how stupid am I saying such the word "gay" to him!When my cousin Jamie found that out (she the second person to know,which the first person I told to was Sammie dude,told him the incident before I posted,seeking advices),she called me and wanna meet me.I was in Mid Valley and she were there about 30 minutes later.Jamie,she look younger than her real age,perhaps she was born in wrong age.

Luckily she was open with this homosexuality issues,told me that I can't get marriage here as the Malaysia's law disapprove gay marriage unlike some other countries that legalize gay marriage,which I know was Canada and some places in United State.Jamie told me that if I want to get marriage I shall migrate to Belgium,where her friend went there married with his partner and had some puppies.I long know that Malaysia won't legalize gay marriage,unless someone could change their view and opinion upon gay marriage,it will be like one in a thousand years,but someone I know,Sammie dude and his ex-beau,before they broke up,they wore a ring(well I wasn't sure if Lance wore it) to prove their relationship.If gay people wanted a long relationship,they should had these 3 things-COMMITMENT,COMMUNICATION AND TRUST.

Hot as straight couples

After some talk,I stupidly told her that I could independent on myself and she disagree my though.For some reason she told me,I think a while and agree what she said,which I wasn't ready to independent yet!I don't have a real steady job,I don't have huge income .So at here i wanna say this to her:Jamie,I took back whatever I said about me could being independent.Yes I still can't stand on my both bare feet yet,and I still need shoes to support me.
From the conversation between my cousin,she told me lot about herself,when she first came down to KL from Sarawak,she had money just enough for her meals,with a place to stay.She didn't ask anyone's help,from there she started to find a job which is office job,lecture at night and two job on weekends.4 jobs in a week,I could be exhausted if I were in her shoe!

After spending the night she volunteered to sent me home but night is still early and I wasn't ready to face him,I asked her to dropped somewhere and proceed to Bukit Bintang.As the clock struck on midnight,I'm ready to go home,I just couldn't care what'll happen to me later.Might some bruises on my face,tears run down to my cheeks,suffering in pain and all those things might happened to me.

One thing should I know-SURVIVE!

As my leg dragged my body to the house of punishment,I were thinking what should I say to him later on?"Hey dad,this morning the word I said was mean happy"-nope I shouldn't say that,Sammie dude warned me that and after all he is not dumb!Or should I say:"Hey dad,this morning I tried to testing on you,to make you angry I said that word"-hmm quite OK maybe he will fall on this trick.Or should I tell him the whole thing?

I walked to the front of my house-light off,no sounds.OK I'm ready to go in.But if they sitting at the hall waiting or welcome me?Ahh,who's care!Open the gate and the door,*relief* all in their bedroom.I straightly went into my room quietly which I'm so expert to do that :p.

Sleep and think about tomorrow.

Expect the Unexpected

2009-06-16T00:43:00.008+08:00

I grab Galaxie magazine with Miley Cyrus on the cover,with small pictures of David Archuleta and Robert Pattinson going to kiss(failed) Kristen Stewart.It on the newsstands on 13 June.

I should get it when it was out on the newsstands and NOT today!

While browsing some of the pages,I went to the arcade video games at Sungei Wang Plaza.I played King of Fighters 2000(I love use Kula Diamond-hidden character,as last person and not to use her when fighting Zero,Kula's scene will show) and King of Fighters 2001(Kula,Vanessa,Iori and Xiang Fei-I used her beat Igniz twice).Then I read the magazine from the first page.

I reached to page 4 where the letter section.There a selected letter will receive RM50 Amuleto by Crystal Jade voucher.Then I saw the winner's name-Bradley Jesse Hyunckel!

It's was me and my letter was selected!

I did sent a email to them past 2 month ago,and I wasn't expected that my letter will be publish on the magazine.And thousand of thousand of reader will read it and my name too!(such a rare name eh?)The content are:

NOT SO MUCH ANYMORE
Congratulation on the new look.I like it but I'm hoping you won't reduce the size anymore.I remember when it used to be huge and it wasn't stapled.The next thing you know,this mag will be a mini-pocket size entertainment mag!Anyway,good work on the mag.the one thing that's missing in the magazine is the Songwords section.where is it?also,there are less posters in the magazine,why?I hope this is something temporary.

The reply are:
Hey!That's great idea--a mini-pocket size Galaxie.We'll be able to follow you wherever you go!As for the Songwords section,it will be back.We're just trying to finalise some stuff before we launch it.look out for it in an upcoming issue.

So what the voucher was about?Restaurant?Boutique?

Come Out from the Closet

2009-06-14T10:35:00.004+08:00

Today,just an hour ago,when I was in the car with my dad,to bank to withdraw some money to him.

There's no conversations between us as usual.We hardly talk to each and the last conversation before today was a week ago!

............

With silent in the car drove by him,30 minutes later we reach near to my working place,Bukit Bintang's Maybank.I off the car and entered the bank.The bank door wasn't welcome me as I had to push it by my hand.(Duh every bank is the same).I entered my card,press PIN code and withdraw few hundreds but OMGWTF the machine did reject my card.it said can't be processed.Of course I mad as I need to give to my dad.

When I empty handed forward to my dad car,I said the problem and suddenly he get mad,he need the money urgent by today.

Bradley:The card got problem,it can't be processed
Dad:*mad*I need the money today!
Bradley:It's sunday today.What can I do?
Dad:*still mad*Let's go to the next bank!*drove*

After yelling at each other between us,where he said we don't care about him,this and that,that he need the money immediately.He admitted he fed up with us!

Bradley:So do you want to disown me?
Dad:YES!
Bradley:OK!You have disown me then!You have a useless son!

When he stopped near Kota Raya,I get out from the car,pissed,and he asked me to go to the building to reset my code or whatever.But I not planning listen to him,after what he said to me!Once I get out the car...

Bradley:Know what?I'm GAY!I'm GAY!
Dad:*speechless*
Bradley:*after a few steps from the car,turn back to him*I mean it!It's over!
Dad:*stunned*

I know I been so stupid to come out to him in this situation but I just can't control myself!It's just like someone forced me to say!I had no choice but to say!I regret but what is done,done!I can't just believe that I said this to him!I just don't know what will happen to me if I ever step my foot in the house tonight?Maybe I'll get whack by him?He is body builder and arms wrestling champs in the past!Even Malek Noor is his student!So I should know that I shouldn't mess with him.

now,what should I do now?

Change!

2009-06-07T10:44:00.008+08:00

I been looking at my blog-Heteromo & Kinsey6 Guy,the title of this blog only.

And I were thinking:Everyone I knew have a suitable or more better name for their blog.

e.g:Sammie dude's Transmission8 and DayBreak(a new life or rather,birth by Sammie),Azrin's Oxygen-Me,Florence's Greeny Florencestory...don't you think its such a great name for their blog?

So I decided to make some changes too...From now on this blog not longer Heteromo & Kinsey6 Guy but Bearer of True Runes.

Everyone will change right?

So come on tell me is this title will make great on my blog?
p/s:If you know what is the "True Runes" I writing about,you know that I'm so addicted to it!

Dangerousness of Forbidden Love

2009-06-05T12:13:00.017+08:00

Sammie's blog > Archives > October 2008 > Click on Mattheu

I reached to a post-Mattheu.

I read until his brother Perry warned him the dangerousness of falling for straight guys,yeah very dangerous for Sammie dude.In his post,Mattheu,his best friend,Sammie kissed Mattheu in his sleep after loss his grandmother.As you know,its hard to had your best friend suddenly kissed you and realized that he is gay!

So I was thinking,I did fall into a straight guy.I knew this guy since we're kid,in other word,his is my childhood friend.We went to same secondary school and the very same class with my best buddy from elementary school.After we're arranged to sits,and I,was sitting behind this mixed heritage dude,wasn't knew his name,suddenly turned his head and

Kyril : Hey Bradley,its me Kyril

kyril-name changed to protect our friendship and prevent misunderstanding

I was shocked when he did knew my name,clearly,in correct pronunciation (later on he sang a song that have a name in it,I liked the song but wasn't knew the song) after not seeing each other for the past 6 years as I had flew back to my hometown-Penang.Then I back here to KL after a year,right after I finished my first elementary.As a kid,I do not knew him anymore (a year seem so long to kid),I wasn't knew him name.We still stay at the very same condominium but later at secondary form 1,I found out he was just schooling next to my school when he was elementary year!So first year I wasn't as I was now,I used to be normal boy,except different family background.

I've change!

When I was on form 2,the looks of him,the looks of good-lookingness,is a key to unseal the other me,sleeping long since I was birth to this world,finally awaken.Yeah the 'thing' is my gayness.I wasn't a gay before.At this part my lead some misunderstanding,so at here,I,Bradley would like to add a few words,that Kyril,IS NOT A GAY,HE IS STRAIGHT!What do I mean he was the key to unseal,is nothing,zero percentage,involved in sexual nor similar actions.Yes no actions on me he did.

Then why he is the key?

Well,for the countless times I looked at him,I realized that,something deep in me,had feeling on him,more than a friend!Was that GAY?For the first time in my life,since I was born,I had my very first crush,and on a guy,HIM,STRAIGHT.Since onward,I always,I mean always,had him in my mind,24/7,365.His hair,his face,hi voice,his actions,his body,everything and everything!A feeling beyond the border between friends-SEXUAL FEELING?

But I know myself,more than others.Wasn't totally gay yet because I wanna to lead a normal life,as other students,boyfriend-girlfriend.I tried my best to think,to have a girlfriend (well I did thought of Florence but at the end,friend and Michelle,the prettiest from elementary but still no feeling,not even wanna have a talk with her) but never once I questioning my sexuality.I thought I'm AC DC or Bisexual.

Its not happen.I confirm myself that I'm totally gay last year May 2008.Last month I really wanna come out to him.First I called him and said I have something to tell him,but when I reached at his door,before I knocked,I nervous and I skip away from there.Then the next night,I was sitting at the staircase.Later on,the lift open and he come out,shocked that I was sitting there alone.

Kyril:(Shocked)Hey Bradley,what you doing here?
Bradley:Oh nothing,just spying someone,stalking.
Kyril :Spying?girl is it?
Bradley:Nope.
Kyril :Guys?(his reaction change)
Bradley:(Uh-oh) nope,I was spying at my house,waiting for my brother,he had the key and I left mine in the house.And I doesn't to wake my mother.(I lied)
Kyril:Hey,is that you called me yesterday?
Bradley:Uh,yes,there's something I wanna tell you.
Kyril :Huh,wait!Is there something to do with my family?
Bradley:Nope,it's about me.Uh can you keep a secret?if I tell you?
Kyril :I'm not sure if I can.But is it gotta to do with my family?

(why is he afraid rumors about his family?)
Bradley:No.Well I want you to know that I was different.

--------------------------
I was giving him clue to find out myself,yet he still don't get it.
--------------------------

Kyril :(looking outside)
Bradley:Kyril,I am (tongue tied,swallow my saliva) G....A....Y!

(Picked some of conversations between us)

Right that he did gave a lot of advices,but I wish more.As it's was night 1 am,and he need to rest and the conversation ended there and that the last time we talked.Just nothing,our friendship still continue but everyone busy and he need to spare time with his girlfriend.While I walked home,I told myself:Did I told Kyril that I'm gay?Yeah you're Bradley!You done it,mission complete!You finally told him,the first person,face to face(others by using sms).GAP

Thank you for being there with me,Kyril

So I'm been thinking,should I tell him that why I became different person than he used to know me back in school time?Should I tell him that because of him I discover the real me?But I afraid that will brake our friendship.Is that cool if he know that I had crush on him.Will it happen as the scene between Sammie and Mattheu?

Doppelgänger

2009-05-31T21:13:00.007+08:00

Couples of day ago I was browsing some books at Mid Valley's MPH Bookstore and The Gardens' Borders.So when I'm hungry time I went to Carrefour to get something to eat but instead I bought some potatoes buns.

I'm watching my diet!

There's 2 internet free-seating station and I decided to check my mails and other stuff,my blog and search some books.I like Alex Sanchez,I read his books-Rainbow Boys(1st) and Rainbow Road(3rd) but i couldn't find Rainbow High(2nd,I miss what happen to Kyle and Jason when they're on high school,nelson and Jeremy),The God Box and his latest-Bait.While I using the free internet,of course i loved free stuff,a guy were using it,the other one,on my right.well he did looked not like a Malaysian,kinda mixed heritage and hot looking too,I couldn't help myself looking at him.Then I took a rest,or let my mind rest for a while,but actually i was looking or spying him from the back,he waring grey shirt as mine(I noticed he's sweating)and jean as mine.Oh God,he looked so gorgeous.But I couldn't hear what's he talking in his cellphone as I were resting at the bench,missed that part.I found my elementary friend-Lim Wei Han a.k.a. Hanes Lim and grew up together schoolmate Michelle Chong a.k.a. Chong Jin Yee(what a beauty friend)

Then at night I went to old house at Ipoh Road,to X5 internet,yeah that my place I loves to go spend my whole night,and its cheap too,RM25 for 25 hours,as a member,free registration.On my way to there,where I took a bus from Kota Raya,its was 10-something night.I quickly hop on a bus,I saw a guy at the back seat,and I sit there too,at the end of that seat..(actully when I hop the bus I saw this guy).With my eyes,I caught a glance on a guy who look someone like Henry Golding.

i don't have twin,so your mistaken him

He wore a sweat-jacket,almost baggy jean and sneaker.I couldn't took my eyes off him,so hunky.Later on he took out his jacket he wore,hmm a little muscular,then he placed both arms behind his head,hmm shaved underarms.I look at him all the way to my destination and his destination were quite far than mine,when he turned his head I look somewhere else,careful not be caught.As Reichen Lehmkuhl said,"Don't Ask Don't Tell".

Shh don't ask don't tell

And by the time of eleven I reached my place and I hop off,said goodbye to him in my heart.and by the way,did anyone know where can I get myself a biography of Lance Bass's Out of Sync(N*Sync member)?

Warning Quizzes

2009-05-19T08:30:00.009+08:00

This questions might sound dirty or naughty
but no worry
I have clean answer for it.

1. When I go in I might cause pain.I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.I can fill your hole.What Am I?

2. A finger goes in me.You fiddle with me when you're bored.The best man always hit me first.What Am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten.Your tongue gets me off.people sometimes like to lick mu nuts.What am I?

4. I go in hard.I come out soft.You blow me hard.What Am I?

5. All day long it's in and out.I discharge loads from my shaft.Both man and women go down on me.What Am I?

6. I come in many sizes.When I'm not well,I drip.When you blow me you feel good.What Am I?

7. If I miss,I hit your bush.It's my job to stuff your box.When I come,it's news.What Am I?

8. I needs protection.I get the finger 10 times.You use your finger to get me off.What Am I?

9. I assist an erection.Sometimes big balls hang from me.I'm called a big swinger.What Am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long.I leave foam lubrication when engaged in a job.What Am I?

Hmm watcha answers eh?

Come on answer it

STD

2009-05-18T10:11:00.029+08:00

STD-So tell me what the meaning is...Yeah yeah I heard you,STD-Sexual Transmitted
Disease,but don't worry I'm not gonna waste my time to all this crap...In fact I talking about
Secondary's Teachers' Day(STD)!!!

So I'm 20 this year and my school(SMK Vivekananda) year was over last couple of year,and yeah,no more waking up
at 0630,no more dragging my leg for couple of minutes to the school,no more roll-call,no more
prefect duties,no more school uniform,no more teachers nagging,no more schoolwork,and no more exam-SPM is over dude,cheers!!!But somehow I do miss those teachers (and friend and school life)and some of my schoolmates,and I'll list 'em...(Wish I were 17 again,don't you wannabe?)

[Form 1&2-1st&2nd Junior(afternoon),Form 3-Sophomore,Form 4&5-1st&2nd Senior]

Mrs Ong-Yeah congrats for her making to my top list.She's my 1st Junior English teacher,and my prefect board adviser teacher when I was elected under training as a prefect.She such a sweet teacher,loves to do the 2-finger-whatever-thing.she funny,easy-going type,lovable,and she will pissed off with our lack of discipline.I bet who under her teaching will found out quickly that she the greatest teacher.Too bad she teaches at afternoon session.Love you Mrs Ong!

Mrs Tee-She's my entire 2 years of senior year of teaching me mathematics,and also Red Cross Society adviser.There's 1 thing I couldn't stand about her,she always call my name,yes always-as her non-teaching assistant,such as:throw her scrap papers into waste basket,get her stuff to/from teachers' office.I'm her "teacher's pet" for the entire 2 senior year.I bet at her biology teaching at 5 Biology,Haire must be her hand too!Mrs Tee,sigh...

Mrs Nirai-A chubby,Indian and easy-going teacher who teaches me moral.I just like her,so sweet she is.When the Malay students went to their religion class,I will sit at the front row together with Chun Hwa,Wil Ther and Nicholas.I always ended sucks in memorizing those definition valuess(there's lots),but somehow I do get A2 for my SPM!!!

Mr Kannan,Mr Shan,Mr Ramen-This 3 discipline teachers is I consider as my buddy.I always joke with them,and I loves to punch in their arms,and they don't mind!

Mr Kamil-My school counselor.He good in giving lecture,motivation,anything-you-name-it.I remember back after my PMR,we attend a lecture for our 1st senior year,either we should in literature classes or science classes.During the speech,I catch a glance that no one will do that-he was rubbing his thumb to his zipper,up and down,for the entire day,in front of all wannabe 1st senior year.Is this his way of jerking off?Too bad Mr Kamil.

Mrs Beh-A beautiful,short-haired with sweet voice genius in Add Math!Because I was not interest in geography so I had to took add math.With my average grade of math,surely taken add math wasn't a good choice eh?I always failed in exam but I passed in SPM!

And that all I wanted to list the name but I'm going to tell about my schoolmates!

XXXXX-Well congrats to you for making to my top list.He the one I knew him since I was 5 or 6 years old,and I don't really how I first knew him.He is Malay and Filipino hereditary,and he quite guapo(Spanish and Tagalog for good-looking).Before elementary school I went back to my hometown for a year then I'm back but strangely I couldn't recall the fella and I blurred his name too.When I entered secondary school,I and Nicholas was place to same class.I was sitting behind this fella and he suddenly turned his head,and he did recognize me,even my name!And his existence,I entered a world called gayness.Yeah I had a my first and its a huge crush on him at my 2nd junior year.I wasn't know this gay stuff but I had a feeling,more than a friend,toward him.A week ago (8 May 2009) I finally come out to him and he very cool with it and accept my sexuality,who just I am,and he did gave advises to me too,positive.He the only one I tell him face to face,and all those burden I hide from him for 7 years finally gone,and I couldn't believe that I did tell him!And after that day,I kept questioning myself:Did I told XXXXX that I'm gay?Yeah of course you did Bradley!(Uh-oh,too much leaking information)To XXXX,I have nothing to say,I mean,I have to say but...(nervous)

Nicholas-A dude has a Caucasian looks.A best friend of mine.I knew him when I was elementary 4.He great in drawing-those fantasy characters!A Japanese addicted dude.But all the times I just couldn't catch his jokes,maybe its too classy for me eh?Then how could Haire always laugh at his jokes? To Nicholas-please don't draw those cat-human-creature things,please change your characters!

Jeyanthi-A close classmate of mine.She the one who been with me for the entire 2nd senior year,not couple excuse you!She been sitting beside me in the class,just in back of Isaac-the Indian,multi-lingual,guapo too and Jacky-the one who didn't cut his hair for the entire year.Both of them were new when they shifted to my school.To Jeyanthi,thanks for your companion.

Sorry for not post any pictures.

Because You Live

2009-05-16T04:39:00.004+08:00

I first known Jesse McCartney when I was Form 5,when he out his second album-Right Where You Want Me...At the same time I had a huge crush on him,yeah a huge crush...I wasn't know his very first album until this year then I discover it and I love this title-Because You Live...This music video is from his first album-Beautiful Soul

Music Video:
Because You Live by (Jesse McCartney)

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live

Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive

Because you live, I live, I live

Music Video Code by Video Code Zone

Heteromo Guy on the road

2009-05-16T00:21:00.005+08:00

Holla or Hello,first of all I'm new here...yeah this is my fucking blog(no offend ok)...Well why I start blogging?you asking me?sorry I have no answer for that question because I also don't know why...I don't know who will read my HeteromoGuy but I feel this is the place where I can tell to someone that I shouldn't tell...Hope I'll Keep Getting Better(Christina Aguilera)...

Way to go,HeteromoGuy!!!

Start your journey...